WHAT'S IN A NAME

Didn't Shakespeare quote something like this, in one of his plays! Well, he definitely did not hear about tale of my name. Once upon a time, my parents thought long and hard for an unusual name and zeroed down on 'Jeeta'. Well unusual part was well and good. Each year in my class, there used to be 2/3 Anita, half a dozen Susmita, Aparajita and so on but never another Jeeta. My initial years were spent in a small town so everyone knew me may be since before my birth, so not much problem vis a vis name there. After I left my hometown, boy was I stunned by name problems!

New city and new University so bombarded with new people everywhere. In university, the following would be my typical conversation with a new friend.

Prototype new friend (PNF): Hi I am susmita/anita/............ and u r?

Me: hi, I m Jeeta

PNF: oh hi Geeta

Me: no Jeeta

PNF: yeah Geeta

Me: it's Jeeta J-E-E-T-A

In University, like all offices, there were lots of important looking people filling up lots of important looking forms for you. My typical conversation with an important looking form filler would be like following.

Prototype Important Looking Form Filler (PILFF): Name?

Me: Jeeta

PILFF: ok Geeta

Me: no Jeeta

PILFF: achhhha Ajita

Me: no it’s J-E-E-T-A

PILFF: (would nod his/her head vigourosly and would write down Geeta/Ajita)

Me: no no that’s not my name

PILFF: if it’s Jeeta then shouldn’t it start with G?

Me: let me write it down

PILFF: hey you tell me I will write

Me: it’s J-E-E…….

PILFF: oh I know there was a girl by the same name from Kerala

Then PILFF would write down Jeetha and I would forcefully take the pen from him/her and will write down my name.

Like this my life went on in University and after few semesters most the people mattered to me knew my name. After a while, I joined in an office. It was a small office so by end of first month I crossed the name exchanging phase and that to with success! But the problem came while attending phones and interacting with people from outside.

My interaction with outsiders mostly went like that with PNF. My phone conversations were, however, another story altogether. I was in this cubicle kind of place surrounded by a crowd who could hear each and every word I speak. My typical conversation on office phone with any Tom, Dick, Harry or Jane (TDHJ) at the other end would be like following.

TDHJ: hello

Me: hello

TDHJ: may I know who is on the line

Me: Jeeta

TDHJ: oh Geeta

Me; no Jeeta

TDHJ: oh Geeta

Then it will go on like infinity times with me screaming my name with a crowd near by.

After few this kind of mishaps, I became smarter (or that’s what I thought). My revised typical office phone conversation became like this:

TDHJ: hello

Me: hello

TDHJ: may I know who is on the line

Me: whom do u want to talk to?

TDHJ: may I know who is on the line

Me: it doesn’t matter you tell me whom do you want to speak to?

After this they would get paranoid; may be our office has employed a mysterious nameless and faceless person to keep tab on calls so they would even become more persistent to know my name. After that two things used to happen first is again the same routine as above or I would give the phone any willing victim present near me.

Then lots of change came and the biggest change being motherhood. Since last 4 years it’s like this, me with my daughter running the errands physically or over phone. I, now, interact with a variety of people who want to know my name; restaurant manager for home delivery, pest control people, tailors, medicine shops doing home delivery, vegetable vendors again doing home delivery, microwave servicing people, water filter servicing people and so on.

Now as a mother of a hyperactive (a decent name used now a day in place of devilish) kid, I lack any kind of leisure time to be a decent or patient person. Now my conversation with any random person goes like following.

Random Person (RP): Your name, madam?

Me: Jeeta

RP: Geetal/hetal/meenal……? (since now I am in Gujarat, where every girl name ends at –al)

Me: oh sure that’s my name

RP: how do u spell it?

Me: just the way it is sounding

RP: ok

So now the name problem is sort of solved but I have to keep track of my names. I mean if I am Geetal to my hair stylist, Meenal to filter service or may be Hetal to pest control company so I have to remember who knows me by what name. Quite a huge and definitely undesirable memory exercise.

I have come out a solution for this problem too. Now my typical conversation with my regular service providers goes like this.

Prototype Regular Service Provider (PRSP): Your name, madam?

Me: Geetal

PRSP: (after searching in their database for sometime) sorry ma’am this name is not in our record

Me: oh I mistakenly thought I had taken the contract under my sister’s name, now please check under my name, it’s Hetal

PRSP: (again after searching in their database for sometime) sorry ma’am this name is also not in our record

Me: aaaahhhh I remember now we had taken the contract under my sister-in-law’s name which is Meenal!